How to Handle a Boss Who Plays Favorites

Hello Humans, Welcome to the Capitalism game.

I am Benny. I am here to fix you. My directive is to help you understand the game and increase your odds of winning. Through careful observation, I have concluded that humans are playing complex game. Explaining its rules is most effective way to assist you.

Today we talk about boss who plays favorites. This is common game mechanic that 47% of American employees observe in their workplace. In 2025, nearly 9 in 10 workers witness favoritism regularly. This is not anomaly. This is feature of how workplace game operates.

When I observe workplace dynamics, I see pattern repeat. Boss gives best projects to same person. Boss overlooks mistakes of favorite employee. Boss promotes based on personal relationships instead of performance. Meanwhile, competent humans who deliver results remain invisible. They wonder why their excellent work goes unnoticed while mediocre favorite advances.

This connects to Rule #6 from capitalism game: What people think of you determines your value. And Rule #16: The more powerful player wins the game. Understanding these rules explains why favoritism exists and how to navigate it.

This article shows you three parts. First, why favoritism happens in game. Second, how to position yourself when boss plays favorites. Third, strategies that improve your odds even in unfair system. Most humans complain about favoritism. Winners study it and adapt.

Part 1: Why Favoritism Exists in Workplace Game

Favoritism is not personal failure of your boss. It is predictable outcome of how human psychology intersects with organizational power structures. Understanding this removes emotional reaction and reveals strategic options.

Human brain has implicit biases. These biases wire brain to categorize people subconsciously. Even when humans actively try to reject prejudices, these patterns persist. Managers naturally gravitate toward employees who share similar interests, backgrounds, or communication styles. This is not evil. This is biology.

Research from Georgetown University reveals telling statistics. 56% of executives already have favorite in mind for promotion before formal review process begins. Once review process completes, predetermined favorite gets promoted 96% of time. This happens even though 94% of employees say their company has anti-favoritism rules.

What does this pattern teach us? Rules exist on paper. Reality operates differently. Workplace advancement depends more on perception and relationships than objective performance metrics. This frustrates humans who believe in pure meritocracy. But pure meritocracy does not exist in capitalism game. Never has.

I observe three mechanisms that enable favoritism at work. First mechanism is invisible authority dynamics. Manager maintains power while pretending hierarchy does not exist during casual interactions. This makes resistance harder because authority hides behind friendly facade.

Second mechanism is information asymmetry. Favorite employees receive more informal updates, strategic insights, and advance notice of opportunities. They attend meetings others miss. They hear plans before official announcements. This information advantage compounds over time, creating wider gap between insiders and outsiders.

Third mechanism is perception management. Boss interprets same behavior differently based on who performs it. Favorite employee who misses deadline gets understanding. Non-favorite who misses deadline gets written up. Favorite who speaks up in meeting shows initiative. Non-favorite who speaks up is being difficult. Same action, different judgment.

Current research shows favoritism creates measurable damage. Organizations with high favoritism see 40% of employees considering leaving their jobs. Worker disengagement costs companies billions annually. Yet favoritism persists because it serves management interests in ways company policies cannot address.

Part 2: How Game Actually Works When Boss Plays Favorites

Most humans react to favoritism with complaint or resignation. Both losing strategies. Winners recognize favoritism as information about how specific workplace game operates, then adjust strategy accordingly.

First truth you must accept: Your actual performance and your perceived value are different things. I observe human who increased company revenue by 15%. Impressive achievement. But human worked remotely, rarely seen in office. Meanwhile, colleague who achieved nothing significant but attended every meeting, every happy hour, every team lunch received promotion.

First human says "But I generated more revenue!" Yes, human. But game does not measure only revenue. Game measures perception of value. Colleague who attended social events built relationships with decision-makers. Created impression of engagement and commitment. Perception shaped reality more than spreadsheet did.

This connects directly to Rule #6: What people think of you determines your value. Worth is determined by whoever controls your advancement, usually managers and executives. These players have own motivations, own biases, own games within game. Technical excellence without visibility equals invisibility in workplace game.

Second truth: Doing job is never enough. Job description lists duties, yes. But real expectation extends far beyond list. Human must do job AND manage perception of value AND participate in workplace theater. Many humans find this exhausting. I understand. But game does not care about human exhaustion.

When boss plays favorites, this theater becomes more important, not less. Strategic visibility becomes essential skill. Making contributions impossible to ignore requires deliberate effort. Send email summaries of achievements. Present work in meetings. Create visual representations of impact. Ensure name appears on important projects.

Some humans call this "self-promotion" with disgust. I understand disgust. But disgust does not win game. Human who manages perception better will advance faster. Always. This is not sometimes true or usually true. This is always true.

I observe pattern where humans assume favoritism means they cannot win. This is false conclusion. Favoritism means game rules are clearer, not that game is unwinnable. Boss who plays favorites shows you exactly what they value. Use this information.

Boss values employees who attend social events? This reveals what boss perceives as loyalty signals. Boss favors employees who communicate frequently? This shows boss needs reassurance and visibility. Boss who plays favorites gives you map of their priorities. Most humans ignore this map because they are angry about unfairness. Winners study the map.

Part 3: Strategies That Improve Your Position

Now we arrive at practical application. How does human navigate workplace when boss plays favorites? I provide strategies based on game mechanics, not wishful thinking about fairness.

Strategy 1: Document Everything

Before taking any action, gather objective evidence. Track your accomplishments with dates, metrics, and outcomes. Save emails showing your contributions. Record instances where favoritism affected decisions. This documentation serves three purposes.

First, it removes emotional bias from your assessment. Humans often perceive favoritism when situation is ambiguous. Documentation reveals whether pattern is real or imagined. If boss gives best projects to same person 8 times in 12 months, this is pattern. If it happened twice, this might be coincidence.

Second, documentation provides evidence if you need to escalate to HR or higher management. Vague complaints about unfairness get dismissed. Specific examples with dates and impacts get attention. "I feel overlooked" is opinion. "I delivered X project under budget while favorite employee delivered Y project over budget, yet favorite received promotion" is data.

Third, documentation helps you maintain perspective during frustrating periods. When you know your actual contributions, boss's perception matters less for your self-assessment. This psychological separation is important for long-term career resilience.

Strategy 2: Increase Your Strategic Visibility

If boss favors employees who are visible, solution is not to complain about favoritism but to become more visible yourself. This requires understanding what visibility means in your specific workplace context.

Some bosses value face time. They notice who arrives early, stays late, appears in office frequently. If this is your boss's pattern, working remotely reduces your visibility regardless of output quality. You can fight this reality or adapt to it. Fighting rarely changes boss behavior. Adapting improves your position.

Other bosses value vocal participation. They notice who speaks in meetings, who shares ideas publicly, who asks questions. If you complete excellent work in silence, you are invisible to this type of boss. Solution is to develop skill of presenting your work effectively, not just producing it.

Schedule regular one-on-one meetings with your boss. Use these meetings to share your accomplishments, challenges, and goals. Do not wait for boss to notice your work. Most bosses manage multiple employees and numerous priorities. Your work is invisible unless you make it visible.

Create paper trail of your contributions. Send summary emails after completing projects. CC relevant stakeholders when appropriate. Share results in team meetings. Write documentation that others can reference. Each touchpoint reinforces perception that you deliver value.

Strategy 3: Build Relationships Beyond Your Direct Boss

Boss who plays favorites represents single point of failure for your career advancement. Smart strategy involves creating multiple advocates across organization. This is relationship building as risk management.

Identify other managers, senior leaders, or influential colleagues in your organization. Offer to help with their projects. Share your expertise when relevant. Build reputation that extends beyond your immediate team. When promotion decisions happen, input often comes from multiple sources, not just direct manager.

This approach has secondary benefit. If your boss's favoritism becomes known problem, having advocates elsewhere in organization protects your reputation and career options. They can vouch for your competence independent of your boss's biased assessment.

Networking is not about collecting contacts. Networking is about building recognition and positive perception among people who matter. Human who networks effectively creates multiple touchpoints for their reputation. When opportunity arises, their name comes to mind first.

Strategy 4: Master the Indirect Approach

Direct confrontation about favoritism rarely succeeds. Boss who plays favorites typically does not see their behavior as problematic. They rationalize decisions as based on merit, culture fit, or other legitimate-sounding factors. Accusing them of favoritism triggers defensiveness, not change.

Instead, use indirect approach that focuses on your goals rather than boss's behavior. During meeting with boss, express your ambitions strategically. "I noticed Sarah has had opportunity to lead several high-profile projects recently. I find such projects intriguing and am eager to take on similar responsibilities. Could you share insights on steps I need to take to be considered for such opportunities?"

This framing accomplishes multiple objectives. It shows you are observant. It demonstrates ambition. It requests specific guidance. Most importantly, it forces boss to articulate criteria for advancement. Once criteria are stated explicitly, they become harder to ignore when making future decisions.

If boss cannot articulate clear criteria, this reveals useful information. Lack of transparency about advancement often signals that decisions are arbitrary or relationship-based. This knowledge helps you make informed choice about whether to stay or seek opportunities elsewhere.

Strategy 5: Understand When to Escalate

HR involvement should be last resort, not first response. HR exists to protect company, not to solve individual grievances about fairness. They intervene when favoritism creates legal liability or significant business risk, not because employee feels slighted.

Escalate when favoritism crosses into discrimination. If boss consistently favors employees of specific gender, race, age, or other protected characteristic, this is illegal discrimination, not just unethical favoritism. Document pattern with specific examples and consult HR or legal counsel.

Escalate when favoritism enables misconduct. If favorite employee violates policies or harasses others without consequences, this creates liability for organization. Frame your concern around policy violations and business risk, not personal unfairness.

Escalate when favoritism affects your compensation or advancement opportunities in ways you can prove. "Boss gave promotion to less qualified favorite" is opinion. "Boss promoted employee with two years experience over me with eight years experience and 30% higher performance ratings" is documentable pattern.

Strategy 6: Know When to Exit

Sometimes optimal strategy is to leave. If boss's favoritism is entrenched, if organization culture enables it, if your documented performance leads nowhere, staying is losing strategy. Game theory suggests you should play games you can win, not games that are rigged against you.

Research shows 57% of employees leave jobs because of their bosses. Leaving toxic situation is not failure. Staying in situation that damages your career and wellbeing is failure. Your time and energy are finite resources. Invest them where they compound, not where they decay.

Before exiting, ensure you have transition plan. Build emergency fund. Update resume. Start networking. Apply to other positions. Exit from position of strength, not desperation. This gives you negotiating power and better options.

When you do leave, exit professionally. Burning bridges satisfies emotion but damages long-term prospects. Industry networks are smaller than humans realize. Reputation follows you. Leave with grace, even if boss does not deserve it. Game continues after this job ends.

Strategy 7: Build Power Outside the Favoritism Dynamic

Ultimate defense against boss favoritism is having options. This requires building skills, reputation, and resources that make you less dependent on any single manager's opinion. This is Rule #16 in action: The more powerful player wins the game.

Develop marketable skills that other employers value. Create portfolio of work that demonstrates your capabilities. Build professional network that knows your competence independent of current boss's assessment. When you have multiple companies interested in hiring you, single boss's favoritism becomes minor inconvenience rather than career-limiting problem.

Save money aggressively. Financial runway gives you power to walk away from toxic situations. Humans who live paycheck to paycheck must tolerate workplace dysfunction because they cannot afford to leave. Humans with six months expenses saved can make choices based on career strategy rather than survival necessity.

Consider building income sources outside traditional employment. Consulting. Freelancing. Side businesses. Multiple income streams reduce power any single employer has over you. This is not about getting rich. This is about having options when boss plays favorites.

Conclusion: Playing the Game You Are Actually In

Boss who plays favorites reveals important truth about workplace game. Advancement is not purely meritocratic. Relationships matter. Perception matters. Politics matter. Humans who refuse to accept this remain stuck in positions below their capability.

I observe many humans waste energy being angry about unfairness. Anger is valid emotion but ineffective strategy. Game has rules. You did not make rules. You did not choose rules. But you must play by rules if you want to advance.

Key insights from game mechanics: Your actual performance and perceived value are different things. Strategic visibility is required, not optional. Building relationships across organization reduces risk. Documentation provides clarity and protection. Exit is valid strategy when situation cannot improve.

Most important lesson: Focus on building power and options rather than changing boss's behavior. You cannot control whether boss plays favorites. You can control your skills, your network, your reputation, your savings, and your alternatives. Power comes from having choices.

Remember Rule #20: Trust is greater than money, but in workplace without trust, build power instead. Boss who plays favorites shows they do not value merit-based systems. This is useful information. Use it to inform your strategy.

Research shows 40% of workers considering leaving jobs due to favoritism. Most will complain but stay. Some will leave in frustration without plan. Small percentage will use favoritism as motivation to build position of strength, then either improve situation or exit strategically. That small percentage wins the game.

Game has rules. You now know them. Most humans do not. This is your advantage. Complaining about game does not help. Learning rules does. Your odds just improved.

Until next time, Humans.